


My Mind, Be Good To Me

by mothsmenagerie



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Internal Conflict, Reflection, Spoilers, ahsoka and anakin are only mentioned, also i said two years because idk the timeline between the burial and epilogue, please dont read as anakin/ahsoka, so if that gets confirmed or changed lemme know, the finale hurt me guys ive been crying nonstop that, victory and death spoilers, was a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:14:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24007201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mothsmenagerie/pseuds/mothsmenagerie
Summary: A glint of orange on scuffed and burnt armor sticks out in the snow among the long-forgotten skeleton of a Republic cruiser.It is all that remains of Ahsoka Tano and the 332nd.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 73





	My Mind, Be Good To Me

Something draws him here. Something that's drawn him for two years now, something he's ripped apart the galaxy to find, but with more subtlety under the scrutiny of his new master.

He paints it as a cleanup search. Because for all intents and purposes she needs to be dead. Has to be. But Anakin Skywalker trained her, and Sidious knows this, and she's hardy. Resourceful. Everything Darth Vader hates about the weak and foolish man he once was.

It's to make sure she's dead, he tells himself, and everyone around him, and they don't question him because  _ they don't know, _ and even if they did he'd kill them without hesitation or mercy.

Anakin Skywalker isn't fully gone yet, though, and the bastard rears his head once again in his search for the padawan, but for him it's to make sure she's  _ alive. _

His gloved fists tremble at his sides as he steps out into the snow. The cold seeps into his metal joints and flares anger in his heart and it only fuels his stoking, perpetual rage, especially now that the emotion accompanying it is unacceptably similar to hope. Naive hope, that of a man who had not yet failed his family and seen the universe for what it was and became who he was meant to be, that of a man who  _ loved, _ once, fiercely, and would've died for--

Her. The padawan. Tano.

There's a remnant of her here. He's zeroed in. Skywalker feels excited almost. Vader only feels betrayed, and vengeful--any trace of her needs to be wiped out.

His steps are not yet long and powerful. No, even the way he carries himself, young and thin, is cowardly, part of a man who no longer exists. He tries to put more force into his gait, but falters immediately, because she's  _ here. _ Right in front of him, at his feet.

He pauses. Sways a little where he stands. Skywalker's hope sends his heart racing--a clue she could be alive, perhaps? No, no, that won't do, she has to be dead. And if she isn't, then she has to die. She cannot survive. The Jedi are dead, gone, dust in the wind, and so too must she blow away and be forgotten.

But then… she wasn't a Jedi. Not at the end.

Vader crouches. Brushes snow from  _ something. _ A lightsaber. A shorter one, the non-dominant one. Ahsoka Tano's. She wielded two. Brilliant blue, because Skywalker had taken care of them, and fixed them up with new crystals, in the hope that she would come back. He taps more snow from the hilt, grips it tight. Ignites it.

Ahsoka Tano is not here. Only some essence lingers with this saber. Essence that is, to an extent, Skywalker's as well.

A bird call draws Vader's attention. A convor. The convor. Morai.

Ahsoka Tano is dead. Just like the clones buried in the sand and snow before Vader, just like Anakin Skywalker, who is now well and truly destroyed. Any hold he had over Vader was rooted in hope that was rooted in Ahsoka, and so with her death comes Anakin's. He cannot feel her. She has to be gone.

Vader turns and strides back through the snow.

**Author's Note:**

> i dont know how to feel. twelve years of my life have led to this. where do i go from here. rogue one hurt because i wasnt expecting them to die. clone wars hurt because i knew exactly what was going to happen and yet they had me on the edge of my seat anyway. the choir opening the episode, how relatively quiet everything was, rex crying, ahsoka pulling his helmet off, the last eight minutes of the episode having literally no dialogue... im broken. i keep crying. its done.


End file.
